Sylvie sat on a rock beside the creek
The creek which ran through the meadow winding
Winding like a snake heading for the woods
The woods developing an ambiance
As from the woods a form appeared to rise
To rise and float serenely to the skies
The skies an opalescent shade of blue
Blue flowers in profusion fill the field
The field in which we liked to run and play
Play on summer days when childhood was ours
Ours to make the most of adolescence
Adolescence turning into adults
I still remember Sophie sitting there
Sitting there with flowers tucked in her hair
Her hair was blowing freely in the wind
The wind would change my life for good that day
That day when Sophie took my breath away
Away she swept my heart forever safely
Safely detained it in her tiny hands,
Hands that steadily held mine all these years
This is wonderful!
A couple of nitpicks:
1)Sylvie disappears and Sophie shows up --
makes the focus ambiguous
2)Adolescence is a state or condition.
Adolescents are young adults. There are several
ways to fix this in the poem, the simplest is to make
the second instance
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